Well I have a nice morning ahead of me. The manor is running fairly smoothly and I have no desire to clip anyone’s ears – yet. Mr. Rochester had me see my doctor for nerves a while back. The good doctor suggested that perhaps I get a little to wound up about things at Thornfield and that I need to steady my pulse whenever I can. He gave me some wonderful “exercises” in which I breathe; revolutionary medical advice – he must have put an extra box top in the envelope when he sent away for his medical degree.
However, I am not going to argue if I am told to sit with my feet up. My favorite part is when I am supposed “empty my mind.” He said “to push all negative thoughts out.” Well, it turns out a few moments cerebrating on Mr. Darcy will push every negative thought to the furthest corners of my mind. And Mr. Rochester cannot be cross from me for giggling and uttering “Oh Mr. Darcy” as he was the one who sent me to the quack in the first place.
However, keeping calm and peaceful at Thornfield is not as easy as it sounds so the “doctor” wants me to work on my reactions. Most mornings, when I take my tea into the Sun Room, something will disturb me like a pillow out of place or a murderous cry seeping through the rafters. Now, instead of phoning the exterminators to spray upstairs again, I look out a window because the “doctor” theorizes that a calming view will curb my tendency to anger. Yes, viewing my frozen tulip beds simply purges the memory that my foolhardy husband’s first wife lives in my attic.
Many times, when I sit down to write my correspondences, precious Adele will whiz by while hoop trundling because a drawing room is a sensible place to play such games. Inevitably, she will knock over my side table sending note sheets, quill and inkwell to the ground. The “doctor” suggested I find a “positive outcome” to any challenge. Well all right then, how about this, “Mr. Rochester, your darling ward who inexplicably has your nose and shellfish allergies, has just turned the handmade rugs imported from Pakistan into Rorschach tests. I am positive you will be sending away for new ones soon.”
Naomi suggests I start taking a little tipple in my coffee but I have no desire to end up in the coat closet with no memory of when I purchased an orangutan again, thank you very much. She suggested a few other things as well but I am too much of a lady to write them here (I may reflect on a few of her suggestions while Mr. Darcy is pushing thoughts from my mind, though.) No, I think I will have to continue to breathe out my window while spinning positive thoughts in my cleared mind to maintain a calm demeanor… either that or smack every last member of the household and lock myself in the Buttery with a month’s worth of cake.