I am not sure you can help me on this one. My laundry seems to reproduce on its own. I do it regularly and yet, every time I go to the hampers, they are full – even if I have just washed. I know I must sound crazy but honestly, I think it’s cloning itself.
In Too Deep
Gosh, I am not sure I can help you either. Self-cloning laundry should be, if it isn’t already, a horror movie. I imagine some sweet actress like Jennifer Lawrence humming as she enters a room when she hears a strange noise in the closet. She opens the door just as a blouse rends itself in two and reforms its other halves. She takes a step back, clutching her throat when her husband’s boxers do the same. She let’s out a blood-curdling scream while behind her, we see last week’s singular baseball uniform rise in triplicate and regenerate until it forms the whole, pungent team. She is devoured by stripes and Daddy Dominic’s Pizzeria logos. All is lost.
I really can’t cast an actor in this scenario because we all know husbands can’t see dirty laundry or the hamper so that film would be anti-climatic. Maybe Renee Zellweger?
As for your laundry woes, may I ask you a question? Have you ever had to do a double take because you could swear that that sweater in the hamper was the same one you just folded and put away? Do you ever find socks in the dirty clothes already sorted and balled? Have you ever checked the hamper immediately after you ask your kids to tidy up their rooms? There may be a correlation here. I don’t know why, but cleaning a room or asking to have folded laundry put away seems to be the time that laundry reproduces in the hamper the most.
I asked a girlfriend what to do about this and she said the following:
“Jumping in the washer during the spin cycle is cheaper than drinking.”
I am not sure that is much help either. Let’s just work on the above movie idea and then we can both afford to pay someone else to do our laundry. Science will have to figure the rest out.
Thank you to Freeia D. from San Jose, CA for the email. If you would like to write to Supermom, email her at AskSupermom@placedeplume.com or click the button below: