All Hail the Chief.  The good ol’ USA is formerly acknowledging its Head Honchos today… or at least the fact that they are in need of another three-day weekend.  I am all in favor of tipping our hats to the men and women who have led our country – yes women, you don’t think those bozos got there by themselves, do you?  Good lord, all sweetness and serenity on the outside, Mamie Eisenhower tackled me in the Blue Room once for joking I was going to make off with a tea cup – that dame was a firecracker behind closed doors.

I have admired many a president since I came into this world, and many have admired me.  With great power comes a libido that goes unchecked, or something to that effect.  Except for Johnson… I lay on his desk with the smallest of negligees and he used my thigh to rest his ice tea.  But as delicious as some of those men were, the ladies were equally enjoyable (maybe in that way – my lips are sealed, darling.)  I absolutely adored Bess Truman and Eleanor Roosevelt – man those broads could tell a joke.  Oh I know what Bessie pretended to be to the public, but get her alone and she could make a pumpkin sweat. Who do you think coined the phrase “Give ‘em Hell Harry?”  I won’t even tell you when she said it.

Jackie Kennedy never warmed to me, which was unfortunate because we had so much in common – of course, that may have been the problem in the first place.  (Although, her plan of replacing me for that blonde to sing for his birthday kind of backfired.)

The modern First Ladies are stepping even further out into the spotlight.  No longer does the FLOTUS have to stand back and look on adoringly.  No, she can support her spouse by being truly extraordinary herself.  And it won’t be long before we are arguing about what to call the president’s husband.  From the moment Martha cougared herself that whippersnapper George, great ladies have formed this nation.  But, as is tradition, men have taken all the credit.

My point is, darlings, if you want to see where a man stands, look behind him.

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